As a parent, regardless of whether you have toddlers, school-aged kids, tweens, or teens, juggling various roles such as being a spouse, friend, and managing a career and household can be challenging. It can be overwhelming to find the right balance while still making time for yourself and other important people in your life. To become an engaged and attentive parent, these tips and ideas for present parenting can assist you in connecting with your children and giving them the time and attention they require, even on your busiest days.
7 Ideas and Suggestions for Being a Present Mom
1. Check to see if your cup is full.
To become a present mother, it's essential to prioritize your own needs first. Rather than solely focusing on how you're showing up for your family, take a step back and think about how you're showing up for yourself. When life gets busy, self-care is typically the first thing to slip, and with the added responsibility of children, it may seem impossible to make time for yourself.
However, neglecting self-care can hinder your ability to be there for your loved ones. While time is a precious commodity, investing 15-30 minutes in yourself can have a significant impact. Remember, self-care involves more than just superficial treatments like manicures and massages and varies based on each phase of life. Your current self-care routine may involve making time for eating well, exercising, sleeping, or enjoying a cup of coffee on your own. Prioritizing your needs will not only benefit you but also those you love.
2. establish and implement clear house rules
If you want to become a present mom, developing a set of 'house rules' can be a helpful strategy. These rules should be straightforward and highlight what is expected of your children. It's essential to enforce logical consequences when your children fail to follow these rules consistently. The simpler the rules are, and the more consistent you are in reinforcing them, the more comfortable it will be for your children to meet your expectations. By doing so, you can create a pleasant and positive home environment that fosters a strong bond between you and your children. It also eliminates unnecessary power struggles, allowing you to enjoy quality time with your children.
3. Use positive reinforcement at all times
Positive reinforcement is an effective technique that parents can use to encourage desired behaviors in their children. It involves rewarding a child when he or she completes a desired behavior, which increases the likelihood of the behavior being repeated in the future. Research suggests that positive reinforcement is the most effective form of reinforcement.
You can use praise to acknowledge your child's accomplishments, or you can create a sticker chart to make the process more motivating for your child. By focusing on the positive behaviors instead of the negative ones, your child will be encouraged to make good choices and maintain positive interactions within your home. This approach creates a nurturing environment that fosters healthy behavior and reinforces positive traits in your child.
4. keep in mind that little is more.
In today's world, it's common to feel pressured to overschedule ourselves and our children, leading to exhaustion, overwhelm, and distraction. If you want to be a present mom, it's essential to evaluate how you spend your time each day. While school and work commitments are non-negotiable, it may be time to cut back on some extracurricular activities.
Instead of signing up for three after-school activities, consider choosing just one to free up some time during the week. Rather than juggling playdates and family commitments throughout the weekend, it may be helpful to limit those activities to one day, leaving you with a full day to recharge and spend time together as a family. If you are struggling to keep up with your own personal commitments, it's worth reconsidering which activities are truly important to you and which ones you can let go of to spend more time with your children. Taking the time to simplify your schedule can help you be more present and engaged with your family.
5. book regular time with your child one-on-one.
One of the most valuable pieces of parenting advice I've received is to set aside daily blocks of time to spend quality time with my daughter. Although it seemed unnecessary when she was in the Terrible Twos and we were together all day, I soon realized that proximity does not equal connection. Once I began to prioritize distraction-free time for just the two of us doing something we both enjoyed, I noticed a significant change in her behavior. She stopped acting out for attention, which in turn made me less irritable and impatient.
If power struggles are a common occurrence in your home and you're looking for ways to be a present mom, it's crucial to assess how much one-on-one time you spend with your children. Remember that quality time doesn't have to be an elaborate three-hour activity involving baking and crafting - it just needs to be purposeful and mindful. Turn off your computer, set aside your smartphone, and give your child your full attention. Play a game, read a book, grab some ice cream, or simply chat for a brief 20 minutes.
6. Situate yourself where your feet are.
Being present in the moments we spend with our children is one of the most valuable positive parenting tips I've received. As moms in today's world, we often try to juggle numerous tasks at once, which can lead to impatience and irritability. However, when we prioritize being present and fully engaged in the moment with our child, we gain a deeper connection and appreciation for the time we spend together. This doesn't require completely disconnecting from technology, but rather giving our full attention and focus to our child during those one-on-one moments.
7. LISTEN
It's important to show an interest in the things that bring your children joy, even if those things don't particularly interest you. Even if they talk endlessly about topics like toy unboxing videos or the latest online game they've been playing, it's worth it to get down to their level, maintain eye contact, ask open-ended questions, and repeat back what they say to show that you're really listening. If you can't give them your full attention in the moment, it's better to be honest and explain that you're busy, but schedule a time in the near future when you can give them your undivided attention. By being approachable and interested in what your child has to say, you create an environment where they feel comfortable coming to you for help or support.
This post contains valuable tips and ideas for moms who want to be more present with their children. Prioritize your own needs, use positive reinforcement, schedule one-on-one time with each child, learn their love language, and be mindful of being present in the moment. By following these suggestions, you can enhance your connection with your children and create lasting memories together.
